Young women get curious about sex and it’s all right to start asking questions. Sex is a process and an experience. Women undergo certain phases during sex, pretty much like climbing the steps of the ladder and finally getting on top!
Sexual Excitement and Arousal
The first step starts with sexual excitement or arousal. This is experienced by both men and women. Sexual excitement is part of an early phase of the sexual response called the excitement phase. It may begin with certain stimuli like sight, sound, touch and even smell. Sometimes an innocent touch such as a gentle caress or a kiss may be enough to arouse one sexually. For both sexes, a thought or a fantasy can lead to sexual excitement. Feeling sexually excited may be automatic. You may feel odd or tingly when this happens. It’s natural to feel this way. You need not run away when this happens.
Signs of Sexual Excitement
The Female Reaction
- When women become sexually excited, they would experience “wetness” in the vagina due to lubrication of the vaginal walls. The vaginal walls may darken in color due to the changes in the blood vessels. The clitoris increases in size and the nipples become stiff or erect.
The Male Erection
- In men, sexual excitement may be observed with the erection of the penis. An erection happens automatically. Unlike closing your eyes or opening your mouth, an erection is something that your male friend cannot control. During sexual excitement, blood flow to the penis increases. This makes the penis expand, making it larger and stiff. It is also referred to as a “hard on”. Do not laugh when you notice this in your male peers. They can actually be embarrassed for all you know.
The Orgasm
The terms “climax” or “coming” which you may have encountered while reading novels and watching movies relate to an orgasm. An orgasm is a term used to describe the climax that comes with sexual activity. During an orgasm, the heart beats faster and breathing becomes heavier. The uterus drops a bit lower and a pinkish flush may also appear on the chest or the face. Having an orgasm is reaching the top of the sexual response ladder.
When the orgasm ends, the pink flush on the face and skin disappears. The heartbeat and breathing slow down and the uterus returns to its usual position. This is called the resolution phase of the sexual response.
The Big “O”: How does it feel?
You may have heard some people describe it as a most wonderful feeling. This may well be an exaggeration as it is not always the case. Some women only feel a slight tickling sensation in the vaginal area during climax while others have a more intense pleasurable throbbing as the muscles in the vagina move together. So don’t get disappointed if an orgasm is not that mind-blowing as portrayed in movies and novels.
Reaching an orgasm should not be the goal. Do not blame your partner or yourself if this does not happen. Your partner may feel pressured to get you into it. It is normal not to have one from time to time. Sex should be enjoyed. A caring and loving give-and-take attitude during sex is more important. So relax and just let things flow.
Failure To Reach an Orgasm: Is this Normal?
Women may get sexually excited and yet fail to have an orgasm sometimes. But some women may never experience an orgasm even with proper sexual stimulation. This may not be normal and may need further assessment by your doctor.
Anorgasmia or the lack of ability to have an orgasm is a problem of sexual function. Here are some factors that may be causing this:
- Partner Centered. Is there a tiff between you and your partner? Lack of communication and hidden anger towards your partner can affect your response towards sex. A healthy sex life is achieved through a healthy mind and body. So try to talk things out with your partner. Good communication goes a long way.
- Social and Cultural. Feelings of guilt towards cultural beliefs may also affect your outlook and response towards sex. Look for someone to talk to regarding your concerns. It’s natural to feel embarrassed about this at first.
- Stress and Poor Health. It may be that you are tired and may need a great deal of time to relax your mind and body. Eat well and add more fruits and vegetables to your diet. Drink plenty of water and exercise at least an hour every day. Listen to soothing music and laugh more often. You will feel much better when you get some time to rest.
- Medications. Have you been taking any medications lately? Do you lack sleep? Taking certain medications like sleeping pills and antidepressants can affect your chance of getting an orgasm. But please, do not stop medications prescribed by your doctor without your doctor’s knowledge.
Stay healthy in mind and body and make sure you have time to relax. When there is mutual understanding between you and your partner, then good sex follows. Be confident and talk it out with your guy.
